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The Paisley Wheelchair Experience

The Paisley Wheelchair Experience are the most adorably kitsch cabaret big band to plonk their well-manicured feet onto Britain’s stages. Fronted by lady-loving crooner, Lord Freddie Valentine (a sort of Englebert Humperdinck meets Alvin Stardust), the Paisleys present an hour and a half of top-drawer cabaret as if the 70’s never ended (or rather continued throughout the 80’s and 90’s) Lord Freddie is an old school all round entertainer, inspired by the antics of the Rat Pack. (This is not the American rat pack of Sinatra, Sammy Davis and Dean Martin, but the British rat pack consisting of Bruce Forsyth, Kenny Lynch and Jimmy Tarbuck). Freddie sings, dances and wise-cracks (“What more do you want? Blood?) and has been known to host the odd on-stage game show. Freddie’s gags would make Jimmy Cricket blush but has been known to deliver all manner of showbiz related quips and routine’s where no celeb is safe, from a demonstration of how Cher achieves her robotic voice to a summary of Michael Jackson’s mental decline via his album titles.

Freddie is accompanied by his top-notch band. On guitar and bass respectively are Freddie’s favourite chicks, Lady Kitty and Lady Fee. Keeping the rhythm solid is Italian powerhouse drummer Dr. Beavis Viagra (an ex-gynaecologist). Exported from Germany is the wonderful Wolfgang on piano, a sort of Mrs Mills for the new millennium and the pumpin brass is provided by Axe Sax Kevin (saxophone) and Thumper Torrens (trombone and telekinesis). Supplying the percussion is the legendary Congo Mike. More recently, the Brass Ole's have been joined by Kamarillo B Bop (Saxaphone) and Johnny Slide on Trombone.

Lord Freddie is ably assisted on stage by his stunning lady friend, Miss Cherry Bakewell, whom Freddie describes as "his tasty tart." Cherry sings backing vocals, dances and assists Freddie with the odd duet.

Kitted out in glamorous outfits and featuring dancing like an epileptic morris dancer, the Paisleys provide a set of some of the most choice tunes you have ever grooved to. If it fits into their Palladium-esque palace of cheese, no matter who by or what era, you will find it suitably Paisleyfied and given a lick-up gloss of showbiz sheen. So what delights can you expect for your time and money?

The guaranteed floor-filler "Copacabana", brought to life originally by the “Concorde of pop” Barry Manilow will get your shoes shuffling and the child in you (sorry, a bit American self-help) will be brought out with renditions of "The Candy Man" (from ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’), "If I Could Talk To The Animals" (from “Doctor Dolittle”) and lovely ballad "Deeply Dippy". New romantic goes Vegas with a cheese-tastic version of Spandau Ballet’s "Gold" (featuring a splodge of ‘Mission: Impossible’ in the instrumental break) and the 80’s is not passed through there because a funky version of Michael Jackson’s BAD will get you moonwalking like Bubbles on crack. The 60’s can be swung back into with "I'm A Believer" and "California Dreaming" and a real jazz-journey into the heart of Vegas cabaret encompasses "Mack The Knife", "Fly Me To The Moon", "Love Is In The Air", "That's Life" and "Call Me".

Approaching pop you are thrown Blood, Sweat and Tears’ "Spinning Wheel" and suitably pompous version of Queen’s "Don't Stop Me Now". Not over the top enough for you? What about the classic Bond theme "Live And Let Die"? Or a nose-pinching version of "Video Killed The Radio Star"?

The Paisley Wheelchair Experience have played many comedy, cabaret and music venues in London and the South East including Madame Jojo’s, The Garage, The Canal Café and The Hilton Hotel. In the late 90’s they ran and performed at two of their own cabaret club nights, the first, Cabaret 2000 was held in Reading and featured and appearance on the opening night from the fantastic Lenny Beige. The second, The Pina Colad Variety Club was held in Charing Cross Road and Greek Street, Soho and featured appearances from Frank Sidebottom, Steve Bowdich, Valentine Flyguy and Hitchcock’s Half Hour. The Paisleys are planning a new, musical, comedy revue show for late summer 2002 in conjunction with Sam Miller and the Well Hard Comedy Club called Bubbles Banana Box, co-starring Bubbles, who has previously worked with Michael Jackson and featured in the film Moonwalker. (e-mail: bubblesthechimp@hotmail.com)

The Paisley Wheelchair Experience have so far released two official recordings, one was the "The Return Of Jason King" E.P., an affectionate paen to the wonders of the 1970’s crime fighting dandy as portrayed by Peter Wyngarde. The single is now a collectors item, due to it being released in a very limited run with every copy signed and endorsed by Peter Wyngarde himself and due to the fact it was released exclusively through the Hellfire Club. (The official Peter Wynagrde appreciation society). The single is the only Jason King tribute to be officially endorsed by the great man himself. The Paisleys cult-crimefigher credentials were strengthened in late 2001 when their version of “Live and Let Die” was released on French label 442eme Rue’s limited vinyl picture disc compilation album “Licence to Hear – A Tribute to James Bond”. See Discography for more information...

As well as their kitsch and lovingly performed live show, the Paisleys have a television show in the writing, penned by Lord Freddie Valentine. The part sketch, part variety, part gameshow extravaganza will be previewed in live form with Bubbles Banana Box. Freddie Valentine aims to be the “Benny Hill for the Millennium”.

So, bring meaning to your sad and empty lives – it’s our job!

"The Paisley Wheelchair Experience – no-holds barred, life-changing cabaret."