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Ian Cognito

For the last three decades Ian Cognito has been an undecorated hero of the British comedy frontline. Never been on the telly, never done an advert... although he would for Guinness, if they let him write it himself.

Cogs remains a true original; If you haven't seen him, you won't have a clue who we're talking about, and if you have then you certainly won't have forgotten the name. Tales of power drills, genital exposure and traumatised promoters follow in his wake as does the hysterical laughter of those who have been lucky enough to see one of this country's greatest comedians.

Whilst many of his peers have graduated to the cosy confines of light entertainment, Cogs proudly remains the alternative comedian with gags that would make Manning wince.

All comedians should make you laugh, the very best will make you laugh non-stop from start to finish, a few of these will leave you with higher things to ponder but only Cogs does all the above and makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck.

If Spiderman was bitten by a radioactive spider and became, like, a spider, then Ian Cognito must have been bitten by a radioactive cunt.

After 25 years in the business we call show, Ian Cognito knows one thing, you need two things to make it big, hype and bullshit. Ian Cognito has neither. He has become one of the most respected comedians in the world by simply consistently doing great performances. That he is so remarkably unfamous can be put down to one thing, Ian Cognito will not play the fame game.

“The trouble with a moustache is that you can taste what you been eating, I got fed up of mine tasting of T.V. producers arseholes.” Ian Cognito

One of the most influential comedians of modern times Ian Cognito has been responsible for the shape of the careers of many comedians. Some of which he is pleased about...

“Changed the face of this circuit single handedly. He was rallying against political correctness before it even had a name. I also love it when he pisses in my mouth.” - Brendan Burns

“He’s the reason I am in this business.” - Boothby Graffoe

“First time I saw Cognito I was blown away. I was blown away the second time too. Third time I thought I could do that.” - Reginald D Hunter

...Some not so pleased. Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle., Russel Howard, Johnny Vegas. Ian Cognito was there 10 years before any them, trampling down the undergrowth.

Ian Cognito has headlined some of the best line ups in British comedy putting many established performers in the shade. However, the longer you spend in the comedy arena, the more people you will upset, particularly if you take the risks that Ian takes. Consequently Ian Cognito appears to be banned from more comedy clubs than any other British comedian. Ian Cognito is not proud of this, the comedy business should be ashamed.

“One day the world will be a better place, we will love each other and share things together. It wont be a something for nothing world or everything for some, but fair shares for all. We will live in a world where there is nothing to be gained from making people look small and putting others down, and when that day comes, I’m fucked.” - Ian Cognito


"Ian Cognito delivered a performance with all the presence, clarity and direction of a true virtuoso player. This electrifying, terrifying and ultimately vulnerable performer warmed a cold Glasgow audience to boiling point. Stand up should always be like this" - The List

"Cognito’s indignant polemic is a bracing antidote to more amiable routines. When a comedian can transform rage into humour without diluting their passion, the result is always riveting. Share his inspired madness" - The Guardian

"Cognito puts them all in the shade. If you want to know what's wrong with New Britain, Ian Cognito’s going to tell you. And if you don’t, you’d be advised to keep your mouth shut. Just stunning" - The Guardian

If messed up comedians are the most interesting, Ian Cognito is up there with the greats. He rants but not without thought. How is the comeback going? Very nastily, thanks" - The Evening Standard

"After half an hour in the company of the constantly self-excoriating Cognito, all other comedians begin to seem like people in public relations." - The Evening Standard

Cognito is still hard to ignore, a raging bull goaded by a flaming sense of injustice." - The Independent

"There is no doubting Ian Cognito’s blazing talent as a stand up, but his capacity for self destruction has ensured he’s never gained the recognition or status he’d otherwise have so effortlessly claimed. You know Cognito will never prostitute what he does just to play the game, he is a comedian through and through." - Time Out