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Dave G Mason
Comedy Script/ sketch writer
Here's a little info about Watford's finest (and if that's all Watford has to offer...)
Born in the town of Watford (so that gives him an added advantage of having a humour bone already!) and given the opportunity (yes that is spelt correctly!) of working in hospital radio (the fools!) where he started his first small steps into the unknown that is known as "comedy writing"
Affiliated with Radio Brockley
Radio Halton and WFMR (Now Wire FM - Warrington)
He is the reason why radio was invented, as it has been said that he has the perfect face for it...
Dave applied to become a member of the NAWG (National Association Writers group) but got mixed up and joined the National Association Wheat Growers instead. It certainly didn't help with writing connections but he learned a lot about weed resistance...
Dave refuses to do any stand up comedy as he's afraid that people will laugh at him...
A few quips and quotes from some of Dave's scribblings...
Details of his previous works of imagination!
From the sublime (I must try to find out what that means...) to the plain bleedin' ridiculous!!
The Newton Rebellion:
Japanese person: “We brave Nippon ; we attack
kamikaze style in the supermarket trolley…Banzai!!
(Sound effect of squeaky wheels into the distance)
Italian person: “We Italian, we go the other way, yes?”
“Hey chicks! Just had a request from my agent who wants me to play KC and the Sunshine bands “Give it up”…or was he giving me career advice?”
Buckett and Spade:
“My heart skipped a beat, I felt like I couldn’t
breathe…but I think that was because of the
overpowering smell of haggis on her breath. On
closer inspection, she didn’t seem all that hot,her
ginger beard and the steel cap boots just didn’t seem
to fit my earlier impression of her…”
The Fairy Godfather:
Fairy Godfather:(Yawns):“Well,that was a good night,I
feel like a new man”
Bruno: “You want me to get you one boss?”
The second coming of Nigel:
Nigel: “Behold! I have turned wine into water!”
Simon: “Yeah…I don’t think that the wine tasters
club are going to appreciate that somehow…”
Man: “Bloody do good son of God…go and do your
I remember Jennifer Eccles:
Jennifer: “So James…how long has it been?”
James: “Well, the last time I measured it, it was
about 7 inches”
“No time for a cuppa mum…I’m off to save the world…”
The Dougal MacDougal experience:
“Ah! Here’s a question! Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Well the answer is quite clearly no ye soft miserable
git, it’s because ye don’t use a brolly”
Slash Morgan: A space adventure:
Phleb: “Sir! Slash Morgan approaching…”
Mong: “What do you mean, Slash Morgan approaching?”
Phleb: “Well, it’s Slash Morgan, and he’s approaching…what did you think I meant you dingbat?”
Other scripts and sketches include:
The Wedding of Ilene Dover
Dirk Moodey's trip to the Wiz of Oz
Delusions of Grandad
And many, many more...not forgetting "Sudz", the soap to end all soaps!